I want her hair!

At the moment my hairs really short, and yes thats not news because my hair is pixie length
but I went a little bit power craxy in the hairdressers on saturday..! Its kinda cool, but at the same time its weird, Its a bit star trekkish, like I couldnt be any closer than possible to getting to the razor stage on one side, but I thought if I get it short I wont have to get it done for a good while as my hair literally grows like Harry Potter. But im wanting long hair now which dosent make sense because Iv just had it cut shorter than ever, but I dont really fancy sporting a hairdo like one of the guys from ABBA (the growing stage) in the midst of summer. So Im gonna grow it as soon as its acceptable to live in a knitted hat, and then buy extensions and have it super long to my waist :D And brown! because its too hard to maintain red hair. I did have a fantasy of having really long blue hair, like Marge Simspon, but have not yet took that leap. Baby pink would be cool too..

This week, I have changed quite drastically my idea of what direction I want to go with my life :)
I began trying to decide between
University in London, serious degree and what not
or Travelling, bit less concrete but I think thats how that one goes

But a woman I work with, Fran, was telling me on Wednesday about how she travelled throughout her life and lived in Greece for 16 years, and has had so many jobs, it sounded like shed had a really interesting life, and it really inspired me
so yeh, I think I want to live in different countries, and just see where life takes me, not the other way around, well at least for a bit
I would like to go to university somewhere along the line, but I just think If I go when Im 18, before Iv even experienced anything else, realistically I dont think Ill go travelling after, because Ill be in debt so I wont be able to afford it, and I suspect Ill be all focused on my career

I think I must come across like a really serious person on this! But its just because writing in this is like writing in a diary. Well its not really, because I avoid writing about personal things and what not because this is still the internet! But my diary dosent have really personal things in it either, my diary actually dosent have anything that means much in it because I dont like the idea of writing my most personal thoughts on paper, I think because then your vulnerable, and somehow it feels worth less
But anyway :) Im gona go up to bed because its 2.23am!

Throwaway

Dont you hate it when you are somewhere, or were somewhere, or were in some moment that you really really wish you had a picture of, but you didnt have a camera with you? It bugs me sooo much. At the moment Im really wishing I had my throwaway camera with me in that old antique shop I talked about in my latest blog. I shouldnt really be saying this because I have a pretty expensive digital camera which I havent been using for quite a while now, but I do prefer using throwaway cameras. Theyre my favourite posession, Iv got one photo left on my current one. Theyre just the best things to have, because I dont feel like Im removing myself from the situation when I quickly pull out my cheap throwaway and snap a picture because its a moment I dont want to forget. When you have a digital camera your really aware of it, and your in the mindset of taking pictures of everything so the world can see what youve done and that you were here, but when your taking pictures of everything (especially annoys me when people do it at gigs) your not actually in the moment so much. Throwaway cameras all the way! :D

Me and the Mrs went to Liverpool yesterday furniture shopping. She met me at the station carrying her keyboard wrapped in a bin bag. It was I think the hottest day so far, so trekking around the shops was almost unbearable. Now that Iv been to Liverpool quite alot weve began shopping down the outer streets which is alot more fun than walking around the main highstreet for hours. We bought a really good priced indian double bed throw for £17. Then walking along a road we saw old rusty blue antique shop that Id been too once before but didnt have the chance to really explore. This shop makes you think that magic does really exist, its like something youd expect to find on Diagon Alley with its caged windows, damp smell, gloomyness, overpowering smell of incense, jamaican music and so many more things I would describe if I was any good with literature. First we tried on this ladys brown hat from the 1920s but we looked like we were about to go on a pheasant killing spree. Then Kate took a liking to an old cowboy hat, and picked me some incense sticks for my new room. We wandered to the back which is full of hundreds of ancient looking books that date back to the 19th century. We sat for a while, Katie reading poetry and me reading travel books. We are so much like a 50 year old married couple its ridiculous. And Katie couldnt help but reading me out every single bit of verse that caught her imagination, then we thought Hey, its so fucking hot and there are so many books in here why dont we ask the guy if we can just hang out here as it stays open till 6pm. So we went over and bought some stuff and asked him and he was such a cool guy and they pulled out seats for us and said we could stay for as long as we wanted and we didnt have to buy anything. So I went and got us some food from the newsagents and we spent the best of three hours just sitting in their and wondering around goggling at everything in sight.
We got home quite late as we ended up in the midst of a mammoth Topshop Sale which didnt finish till 8.30 at which I went slightly crazed, trying everything I could carry on for size. We got home and Kate played her keyboard and sang me songs all night, my favourite song she did was Sampson :) And then I think the funniest moment of my week happened when we climbed in our double bed, Katie in her old lady flannel nightie and me in my old man shirt and as we both lay down we simultanously opened the first page of our books in the same moment, and without a word we realised what we were. And we just sat and cryed with laughter until it hurt, because we are actually an old married couple.
But Im really excited about the book I bought, its called ESCAPE WITH ME! and I was about to write the blurb out but I think Id be going overboard with boring you brains dry. So thats me! Till next time :)

By the way, the time on my blogs is completely wrong
its actually 8 hours too early but I dont know how to change it!
so my last blog was at 21.43

Im listening to a beautiful song by Johnny Flynn that Iv never heard before, I think its called Brown Trout Blues.
The weather today has been really hot, its like were in an exotic country. It was doing my head in because the heats making me distracted from my coursework. But when as I was sitting here in the intense heat, as if someone had just clicked their fingers it began raining like a monsoon. It was amazing, so I stuck my head out the window to cool myself down :)
Im learning chords at the moment, D was simple but A is just so hard! You have to try and fit all 3 fingers on one bar whilst having them all near to one end so It dosent sound flat and it frikking hurts my fingers!
Watching The Specials perform at Glastonbury (on the telly) has ignited my love for them. When they did 'A message to you Rudy' I couldnt not get up and Rasta dance around the living room.
Id really love to see The Prodigy live, my brothers were really lucky last night as they were at Glastonbury and went to see them. It was electric, you could see just from watching it on telly how incredible it must have been to be in that crowd, it was even exciting watching it from the sofa. I got up to dance for this too but then I felt like a twat trying to rave dance on my own.

I should be doing coursework but this is the first time in ages Iv felt like writing.

Yesterday in work my boss called me into the kitchen and said to me and the other girl that she was going to have to cut our pay down from £5 an hour to £4 an hour (near minimum wage for 16 year olds) It was a pretty big blow, because Iv worked hard to get two pay rises and felt like Id earnt it and I was on £4 when I started and it was shit. Id get £28 for 7 hours of really hard work, its not like sitting behind a till. when I got payed it didnt feel worth it at all. By the time Id get home Id be walking like John Wayne and could barely get up the stairs its that labouress. But when things happen to me, in that moment I dont act on my emotions or sort of feel how I really feel? I act graciously, smile and say yes everythings great. Then I go off feel all hdshjdgs and then I wait till Iv got over feeling emotionally and think about it rationally. So when I got home I decided that I couldnt work for £4 an hour even though I said to pat at the time, no thats absouletely fine! I understand, you were so generous giving us £5 in the first place! .. =|
So I think my delayed reaction wasnt quite suitable, because it would have been so much better if Id said it then and there. Im like this in personal life too, Ill let people be unkind to me and then I just.. I dont know! Get angry a good time after its actually happened, like Ill be standing in the kitchen making a cup of tea and Itll hit me. It dosent make sense, and my friends cant predict my reactions to things and how I deal with them, either can I.
Its amazing how little things can change your mood so drastically, before I was feeling pretty shit and now Im feeling so mellow and happy :) Ciao for now

Im actually addicted to this thing right now, just aimlessly scrolling and clicking for the most part of the day, sad I know but when Im home bound I tend to do pointless things
In a day at home I could be practicing sewing and changing my dresses, playing the guitar, reading, learning to cook new foods, doing god damn coursework
but no, i end up just lolling around alternating from telly to computer throughout the day, doing nothing paticularly worth doing
hmm, maybe tomorrow I shall have a day of worthwhileness! And also keeping to good sleeping hours, rather than getting to sleep at the times of 3 and 4am.
Im feeling really chilled at the moment though, I think Katies conversations on messenger are having that affect on me :)

Im really looking forward to the YNot Festival more than anything. My mum said "all youll need is a bowl, cup and tent" Im so excited :) Im going to buy a classic backpack for the event, or just borrow my Dad's mission man backpack. Everythings not brilliant right now so I cant help but pine for the future. Right now I just want to fast forward time to September next year when Ill hopefully be trekking off to London for Uni. Joshua Radins lyrics are ridiculous right now, I can relate to them so much, and his voice is so soothing :)
I have a lot of coursework to do to hand in for Friday, alot, and I dont feel like Ill finish it. But I guess its completely in my hands whether I do or not so I better get cracking!